Siddharth was my first valentine...the story goes back a long time when we lived in Guwahati, the time when I did not even know how to spell valentine, or what it actually meant...at that time, for me the word 'valentine' was synonymous with adulthood...
I was in the 3rd standard...being a naughty and talkative student in the class, my teachers had to find new ways to punish me, and the worst was to make me shift my seat....so, thus we met...Siddharth was studious and serious...he was the topper of the class, and I always came 2nd....so, when I was made to sit beside him....one can imagine how it would have been...it was my worst punishment ....Siddharth hardly talked, but he was a good listener...being the mischief-maker of the class, only blabbering wasn't enough for me....so, I insisted that he talk....even if he said a word or two, I would react over-enthusiastically or laugh at his poor jokes...Siddharth would tell me about his new bike, the one in which he flies like a bird...and I would tell him about my dance classes, or how boring Nivedita's tiffin was... whatever I may say, he always smiled...it was October I guess when one day shyly Siddharth asked if I would be his valentine?...to speak the truth, at that time, I didn't even know what valentine meant, but admitting that to him would be degrading my image....nor did I know when was the valentine's day, so I said 'yes' confidently...though it was October, but for people newly in love every day is a valentine's day, and for me, it could have been practically anyday...so, we became 'valentines'...Siddharth showed me his secret toybox, in which he had collected about 100 cards of WWF players with weird names, some g-i-joe toys, wood pencils, rings that were too big for his fingers, and the pictures of his identical twin sisters...I showed him the storybooks I borrowed from the local libraries and even offered him to keep them...to me, that was the definition of valentine...exchanging toys and books, being nice to each other and submitting the homework copy together...soon, it was November and the time for our half-yearly exams...
In early December the results were out, we were excited, not for the marks but for the upcoming holidays... Siddharth was just telling me about his coming trip to Kolkata, when our teacher Mrs.Das entered the class...all were seated, the marks were to be announced...the class was almost still....but, by then Siddharth had caught the infection called 'talkativeness' and in spite of a couple of warnings from Mrs.Das he went on... an angry Mrs.Das then asked Siddharth to stand up on the bench...maybe for the first time in his life, Siddharth stood up on the bench, his face reddened with insult...I was feeling a bit guilty too, for not stopping him at the right time...once, half-heartedly I thought I too should stand up for listening to his holiday plans instead of listening to the lecture...however, Mrs.Das started announcing the marks...Adrija-72, Nivedita-63, Apurb-80, Puja-62, Razia-44, Siddharth-89, Gitika-79, viola-76, Asim-65, Jyotismita-90......thank god, I passed! that was the first thought that came to my mind, but at the same time, a congrats! from here and there made me realize I was the topper this time.....forgetting what was in my mind 5minutes back, I was smiling broadly... then suddenly I heard a sob...I looked up from my seat and it was my valentine wiping tears from his red face, he has come 2nd in the class for the first time...I tried to say sorry it got lost in the murmurs of others...He never talked to me till the start of the holidays.
After the holidays, Siddharth changed his seat...stopped talking to me for a long time...my smile must have added injury to his insult...I don't remember who topped in the finals, must have been him as always...
more than twenty years have passed by, I still remember his face...his excitement while showing me his toys, his laughs, his face smeared with tears...
all these memories make me nostalgic, more than that they make me feel fresh and younger...that's what true love does, hai an??!!
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